Excerpt from the third Cleo Marjoribanks Murder Mysteries, Poltergeists in the Parador. Cleo and DCI 'Steaming' Kettle are on holiday on the Costa del Sol......
'Don't be so bloody daft, Trace, I've
told yer and told yer 'e's probly got a wife 'n' kids,' an Essex
accent screeched. They’re probably about eighteen and were standing on the edge of the
pavement ahead of us.
'Uh-oh,' I muttered, 'another ‘oliday romance up the spout.'
'As in she might be?' David queried.
For those of you who don't understand cockney English
'up the spout' is the same as 'up the duff' or 'bun in the oven' - pregnant.
'No.
She's probably fallen for a waiter or barman. The old, old story.'
''E's stood 'er up. Hey up!' David shot forward and grabbed
the girl before she was knocked down by a passing car. The argument had been continuing as we were
discussing the subject and, of course, as we got nearer to them, which was how David was able to grab her.
'Oh, gawd, Trace I fought yer was a
gonner,' her friend said as she grabbed hold
of Trace to pull her away from David's
encircling arm and could give her a hug. 'Grasseus, seenor.'
David grinned. 'I
won't say it's nothing.' He looked severely at them. 'Next
time have your argument in private so that when one of you wants to storm off
in a temper you won't be in danger of falling under a bus.'
The pair of them looked at the pair
of us - incidentally, I'm not in a caftan but cream trousers and a loose top to
cover the bits and pieces. 'You're English!' gasped Trace's friend. 'Thank
gawd. Tell 'em, Trace.'
'Why don't we find somewhere in the
shade to sit down,' I
suggested and they agreed so we headed for the seafront, the two girls - sorry,
young women - walked in front of us, whispering. We exchanged a look but didn't say anything. They're a pair of modern young things, one (I
think she’s really called Tracy )
has bleached blonde hair with bright pink stripes. I know it's bleached cos I can see the dark
roots. Incidentally, her nails - fingers
and toes - match the pink stripes in her hair.
No idea the colour of her eyes as she's wearing sunglasses. The other one's got shoulder length mousy
hair with blue stripes and nail varnish.
Dress? What do you think? Short shorts, bare midriff and tight fitting
top.
Once seated at a table
under a sunshade and with cold drinks we looked at each other and said nothing. David, being a copper, used his favourite
tactic of silence - I know it well! The
young women kept mum. Okay, so it was up
to me.
'So, are you going to
tell us about the problem?' As if I
hadn't already guessed.
'Wot d'yer fink,
Trace?'
'Fer gawd sake, spit it
out. S'not like we're yer mum and dad,'
I exploded.
They looked at each
other in amazement.
'Yer from the East
End?' gasped Tracy .
'Yup. Now, what's up?'
Angel? She's been dating an angel? Oops.
Think, Cleo, it's a Spanish angel pronounced Ankel. All the men I've met with that name have been
far from angelic.
'What's 'e done?'
'Disappeared,' her
friend responded succinctly.
Uh-oh, she getting too
possessive?
'What makes you think
'e's disappeared?' the statue by my side asked.
Thought he'd gone to sleep.
''Aven't seen 'im fer
two days,' Tracy
responded.
'Where does 'e work?' I
asked, thinking that if he was a waiter or barman he wouldn't be off work for a
couple of days.
'Copper.'
David and I exchanged a
look. 'Policeman?'
'Yeah. Plaincloves.'
'So 'ow d'yer know 'e's
a copper?'
'Showed me 'is card
thingy.'
'Do you read Spanish?'
David asked.
'Nah! 'E's English.'
Confusing. David put his elbows on the table, clasped his hands and put his
chin on them then said slowly. 'The
missing Angel is an English copper. So,
is 'e English or Spanish?'
'English. 'E's from London .
'Is parents is Spanish. 'E's wiv
the Met.' (Metropolitan Police force of London ).
'So what's 'e doing
here? On ‘oliday?'
'Nah. 'E's workin' on somethin'. You know.
Undercover like, which is why we've come 'ere on 'oliday.'
'As 'is cover?' I asked.
'Sorta.'
'Wot d'yer think,
Kathy?' Oh goody, now we know the
friend’s name.
She shrugged her skinny
shoulders. 'We was goin' ter go on
'oliday so why not 'ere?'
'Where are you
staying?' David asked.
'Got a flat in
Torremolinos.'
I could tell the
copper's brain was at work. David didn't
want to have this conversation in public.
'So what are yer doin'
'ere in Marbella ?'
'Fought we'd come 'n'
look fer 'im 'ere. If we don't find 'im
'ere, I fought we'd go ter Malaga tomorrer.'
'Look, Trace, it's
obvious 'e's dumped yer,' Kathy said.
'No! No, 'e 'asn't. Don't forget 'e was supposed ter meet me fer
lunch yesterday.'
David interrupted
before World War Three broke out. 'How
did yer get ‘ere?'
'Car.'
'What's the address of
where you're staying?'
'Why d'yer want it?'
'So we can sit down and
discuss this in private,' he explained patiently.
Kathy turned to Tracy . 'See, told yer they'd 'elp.' She hadn't actually. All she'd said was to tell us what the
problem was. I glanced at David and
hoped he wouldn't say anything. He
played dumb and Tracy ,
fortunately, had forgotten.
She looked at her
cyclamen nails while she thought about it then, tossing back her pink and
blonde hair looked at my tame policeman.
'Okay,' and gave us the address.
So that we didn't lose
them they came to our car and we drove them to their car, leaving them with
strict instructions to drive straight to Torremolinos. And not to argue on the way.
'Blimey, I feel like a
mother!' I exclaimed once we were on our
way in the Merc.
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