In the 1960s it was still the norm for married women to stay at home to look after the house - and their husbands! I often wonder how many people suffered from some of Sylvia's experiences. Here is what happened after they had moved into their new house and Sylvia was really happy to be there.
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On Monday morning, having seen
Colin off to work, Sylvia danced through the rooms. 'My own home! This is mine!
I love it!' Then washed up their breakfast things, made the bed and set about
cleaning the place. Yes, the builders had had it cleaned but not very well.
One of the
advantages of the minimalist look was that it didn't take long to wash the
woodwork and floors downstairs. After lunch Sylvia gave herself a treat and
opened up one of the boxes containing some of their wedding presents. This one
contained glassware which she carefully washed, dried and put away. Well, as
best she could. Tumblers went into the kitchen cupboard but a set of fruit
bowls and some wine glasses of hers had to be left on a shelf in the living
room until such time as Colin was prepared to buy the living room furniture.
When he arrived
home in the evening and noticed the glassware he grumbled, 'You've started
unpacking.'
'It has to be
done so we can find things,' his wife pointed out.
'Yeah, but
can't we do it at the weekends?' he asked sulkily.
'Gardens to be
dug over?'
'But we can
unpack in the evenings,' he pointed out, adding, 'As you aren't going to go out
to work, you can start the digging during the day.'
'Tomorrow I
have to walk over to Lingfield,' (about two miles away), 'to do some shopping
and when I get back I need to do some baking. If I'm to keep up with the
laundry I will have to do some washing and ironing each day. And on Friday I'll
need to take the bus to East Grinstead to do the big shop. That's after the
baker has been and I've paid him.' Okay so she'd kind of exaggerated a bit but
she was entitled to some time to herself wasn't she? 'Anyway, we need to get
everything unpacked for when the visitors start arriving. They will want to see
their presents are in use.' Or something, she added to herself when she thought
of some of the gifts. And wondered where the visitors would sit, bearing in
mind that there were only four kitchen chairs.
And, of course,
as soon as he came home from work and had changed from his work clothes into
something more comfortable Colin expected dinner to be served. And on went the
radio and, after cleaning up the dinner things, out came the pack of cards and
Sylvia quickly discovered that Colin didn't like losing. She thanked her lucky
stars that she was an expert at losing - lessons learned when playing board
games with her young sister.
Wet Saturdays
were usually spent traipsing around one or other of the two nearby towns. Not
to spend money, just to pass the time. Colin didn't read or have any hobbies
which was why, she realised, he hadn't allowed her to bring her piano to the
house. Also, of course, he couldn't play the piano.
'It's old
fashioned and won't fit in with our decor,' he had decreed.
As time passed
she also discovered that so far as 'the arts' were concerned, he thought they
were a waste of time - and money. Not that he included knitting and sewing as
arts. They saved him money.
The next battle was driving
lessons. Yes, she could buy bits and pieces in the village, but she had to walk
into the next - and larger - village of Lingfield at least once a week for
items she couldn't get from the village shop. She could also get a couple of
books from the mobile library but that only visited the village once a week.
And on Friday day she took the one-an-hour bus to East Grinstead. As an avid
reader, when there she also had to go to the library which wasn't in the
shopping centre. With several books and all of the shopping it was a heavy
load. Admittedly, on some Saturdays Colin drove her into East Grinstead, but
not to the library. What she did dread were the wet Saturdays when he couldn't
get out into the garden so on said Saturdays he insisted mooching around the
shops. Not one of Sylvia's favourite pastimes.
'You know,
Colin, it would really help if I could drive. Even if I could only use the car
on Saturdays. That would free you up to work in the garden.'
Her husband did
not look happy. 'I don't mind taking you shopping on Saturdays. You know I
enjoy going around the shops.'
Which, of
course, was Sylvia's problem. She just wanted to get around the shops as
quickly as possible. Not waste time.
And she
discovered over time that she especially didn't enjoy shopping for clothes when
he was around. He had very decided views. No sleeveless dresses or blouses and
her skirts must cover her knees. And this was the era of the mini-skirts. She
also had to be careful at the hairdressers to ensure that not too much was
trimmed off. Her hair had to cover her ears.
She continued
to try to persuade him. 'If you go to work by train, I could pick you up at the
station in the evenings.' After all he could walk downhill to the station in
the mornings. 'It would save us some money and I could do the shopping on
Fridays, giving us both Saturday in the garden.' She played what she hoped
would be her trump card.
He sighed.
'Alright. I'll start teaching you on Sunday.'
That wasn't
what she had meant and it turned out to be a lesson she would never forget.
With three pedals to choose from and a sprung loaded gear stick the Austin A40
was not the easiest car to learn on. Especially when the teacher kept saying
'Give it more.' More what?
Colin's idea of
driving lessons was around the narrow country lanes full of curves and, as it
was the weekend, busy with Sunday drivers out enjoying the countryside.
After nearly
crashing into a bridge Sylvia gave up. But she wasn't defeated. He might not
give her much money for housekeeping but she reckoned she could squeeze enough
out of it for driving lessons.
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