A Favourite Aunt - Into the new house.

In the 1960s it was still the norm for married women to stay at home to look after the house - and their husbands! I often wonder how many people suffered from some of Sylvia's experiences. Here is what happened after they had moved into their new house and Sylvia was really happy to be there.

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On Monday morning, having seen Colin off to work, Sylvia danced through the rooms. 'My own home! This is mine! I love it!' Then washed up their breakfast things, made the bed and set about cleaning the place. Yes, the builders had had it cleaned but not very well.

One of the advantages of the minimalist look was that it didn't take long to wash the woodwork and floors downstairs. After lunch Sylvia gave herself a treat and opened up one of the boxes containing some of their wedding presents. This one contained glassware which she carefully washed, dried and put away. Well, as best she could. Tumblers went into the kitchen cupboard but a set of fruit bowls and some wine glasses of hers had to be left on a shelf in the living room until such time as Colin was prepared to buy the living room furniture.

When he arrived home in the evening and noticed the glassware he grumbled, 'You've started unpacking.'

'It has to be done so we can find things,' his wife pointed out.

'Yeah, but can't we do it at the weekends?' he asked sulkily.

'Gardens to be dug over?'

'But we can unpack in the evenings,' he pointed out, adding, 'As you aren't going to go out to work, you can start the digging during the day.'

'Tomorrow I have to walk over to Lingfield,' (about two miles away), 'to do some shopping and when I get back I need to do some baking. If I'm to keep up with the laundry I will have to do some washing and ironing each day. And on Friday I'll need to take the bus to East Grinstead to do the big shop. That's after the baker has been and I've paid him.' Okay so she'd kind of exaggerated a bit but she was entitled to some time to herself wasn't she? 'Anyway, we need to get everything unpacked for when the visitors start arriving. They will want to see their presents are in use.' Or something, she added to herself when she thought of some of the gifts. And wondered where the visitors would sit, bearing in mind that there were only four kitchen chairs.

And, of course, as soon as he came home from work and had changed from his work clothes into something more comfortable Colin expected dinner to be served. And on went the radio and, after cleaning up the dinner things, out came the pack of cards and Sylvia quickly discovered that Colin didn't like losing. She thanked her lucky stars that she was an expert at losing - lessons learned when playing board games with her young sister.

Wet Saturdays were usually spent traipsing around one or other of the two nearby towns. Not to spend money, just to pass the time. Colin didn't read or have any hobbies which was why, she realised, he hadn't allowed her to bring her piano to the house. Also, of course, he couldn't play the piano.

'It's old fashioned and won't fit in with our decor,' he had decreed.

As time passed she also discovered that so far as 'the arts' were concerned, he thought they were a waste of time - and money. Not that he included knitting and sewing as arts. They saved him money.

The next battle was driving lessons. Yes, she could buy bits and pieces in the village, but she had to walk into the next - and larger - village of Lingfield at least once a week for items she couldn't get from the village shop. She could also get a couple of books from the mobile library but that only visited the village once a week. And on Friday day she took the one-an-hour bus to East Grinstead. As an avid reader, when there she also had to go to the library which wasn't in the shopping centre. With several books and all of the shopping it was a heavy load. Admittedly, on some Saturdays Colin drove her into East Grinstead, but not to the library. What she did dread were the wet Saturdays when he couldn't get out into the garden so on said Saturdays he insisted mooching around the shops. Not one of Sylvia's favourite pastimes.

'You know, Colin, it would really help if I could drive. Even if I could only use the car on Saturdays. That would free you up to work in the garden.'

Her husband did not look happy. 'I don't mind taking you shopping on Saturdays. You know I enjoy going around the shops.'

Which, of course, was Sylvia's problem. She just wanted to get around the shops as quickly as possible. Not waste time.

And she discovered over time that she especially didn't enjoy shopping for clothes when he was around. He had very decided views. No sleeveless dresses or blouses and her skirts must cover her knees. And this was the era of the mini-skirts. She also had to be careful at the hairdressers to ensure that not too much was trimmed off. Her hair had to cover her ears.

She continued to try to persuade him. 'If you go to work by train, I could pick you up at the station in the evenings.' After all he could walk downhill to the station in the mornings. 'It would save us some money and I could do the shopping on Fridays, giving us both Saturday in the garden.' She played what she hoped would be her trump card.

He sighed. 'Alright. I'll start teaching you on Sunday.'

That wasn't what she had meant and it turned out to be a lesson she would never forget. With three pedals to choose from and a sprung loaded gear stick the Austin A40 was not the easiest car to learn on. Especially when the teacher kept saying 'Give it more.' More what?

Colin's idea of driving lessons was around the narrow country lanes full of curves and, as it was the weekend, busy with Sunday drivers out enjoying the countryside.

After nearly crashing into a bridge Sylvia gave up. But she wasn't defeated. He might not give her much money for housekeeping but she reckoned she could squeeze enough out of it for driving lessons.
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